Alliteration is awesome

Alliteration is a-okay, I say. It’s a writing technique that goes back centuries in languages, especially by poets, philosophers, storytellers and authors (particularly authors of children’s stories). Today, it remains as popular as ever, popping up in poetry, speeches, music, greeting cards, children’s stories, and advertising.

Here are some examples of alliteration by yours truly:

Abolish antipathy and advance ambition.

Bigger is Better? BS.

Carefully consider culling combative customers.

Daring dancers dig deep, dismiss doubters.

Have you written an alliterative headline, slogan or poem? Post it in Comments or provide a link.

LiveJournal Tags: alliteration,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

Promotional products by any other name are neither

We’ve seen this week that the purpose and value of promotional products is often misunderstood. Some of this is marketing’s fault for

• calling these items trash and trinkets or swag
• purchasing cheap products
• maintaining an assortment of items that have no rhyme or reason
• selecting an item that doesn’t fit the corporate image or marketing message

Believe me, this is not a comprehensive list. I’m sure you could add several bullets without hesitation. In fact, please do in the Comments section.

Internally, promotional products can engender camaraderie between marketing and sales in a multitude of ways:

• as awards bestowed upon salespersons for marketing funded and managed sales contests
• as a thank you for reporting back to marketing on the quality of leads
• as recognition for supporting a marketing campaign or product launch
• as appreciation for staffing a trade show exhibit

Marketing should keep a carefully thought out quantity of ad hoc - meaning the items aren’t necessarily tied to a campaign – promotional products in a locked supply closet for a number of reasons. On occasion, other departments such as HR, purchasing, supply chain and even Legal may have guests visiting and a company branded promotional product is a nice welcome and “we appreciate you” message.

Sales, however, must always get first dibs. A quality promotional product arms sales with an icebreaker for a new customer. It can thaw a frosty relationship with a long-time customer after a real or perceived slight. A nice “thank you” can ease the tension after a particularly contentious purchase contract negotiation, too.

In conclusion, always carefully consider the quality of an item before you decide to apply the company logo to it. If marketing, sales, customers, partners, distributors or even family or friends think of it as swag, a trinket, or an advertising specialty item, it’s not worthy of your good corporate name. The brand must be protected and its value should never be compromised or diminished by a promotional product.

What are your thoughts? Have I missed anything? Let me know in the Comments section.

Thank you for reading my blog.

LiveJournal Tags: promotional products,corporate gifts,advertising specialties,swag,give-away,sales incentive award,performance award,customer gift,brand reputation,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

Sales earns, and rewards, customer loyalty

In a previous post, I mentioned that promotional products can be used for internal marketing and sales incentive campaigns. Add customer gifts to the list. Now, many companies have rules about giving and receiving gifts in a buyer/seller relationship, so it’s important that marketing consult with their Legal department before establishing a customer relationship program that includes a promotional product.

After getting the green light from Legal, be sure to consult with sales about the parameters of the program and the promotional product(s) you are proposing. This collaboration is essential to secure sales buy-in and ensure the program is implemented in the sales department as intended by marketing. An added bonus: it will strengthen the rapport between the sales and marketing teams.

One thing you’ll most certainly hear from sales is that the promotional product must be something of perceived value. Ideally, it will be an item that symbolizes how important the customer is to your company. Marketing must never forget that sales is on the front line. We can’t ask a salesperson to stand before the company’s most valuable customer and hand the very important contact a t-shirt, or a USB thumb drive, or a coffee mug. This is about relationship building. It’s also about the company’s brand reputation. Spend some money! Make it an item the salesperson can present with pride. Make it a conversation piece for the customer for years to come.

Did you oversee a customer relationship program for sales that included a gift? Was it a success? A failure? Please tell me your story in Comments.

LiveJournal Tags: promotional products,corporate gifts,advertising specialties,swag,give-away,sales incentive award,performance award,customer gift,brand reputation,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

I really need that pen!

If you’ve ever held the role of demand generation for a business-to-business organization, you’ve undoubtedly conducted a direct mail or email campaign sometime in your past. It’s okay, you can admit it it. There’s no shame.

True, at times the paltry response may have been shameful. Demand generation professionals understand there’s no secret to a successful direct marketing endeavor. Of course, it starts with a quality list. But equally as important is the message. It must be spot on, addressing a real business problem and providing a simple and affordable solution in crisp, concise and clear language. Good messaging with supporting imagery that correlates with the problems  your customers face will usually generate sufficient response. I’ve never doubted that for a minute and my experience bears it out.

On occasion, I incorporated a promotional product as an inducement to encourage a more timely response. It was offered as a reward for completing and returning the business reply card by a certain date. With the clock ticking, response rates typically improved.

Here’s the kicker: the free gift doesn’t have to be something of high value. I once offered a sub-$1 pen for free as a thank you to customers for completing a BRC. The message theme was “CONNECT the Dots” and pens and other writing instruments were visuals throughout the mailer, so this was a no-brainer.

The check boxes on the reply card had some fun language. It was remarkable to see how many people underlined the phrase “Don’t forget to send my pen” or “I really need that pen, too.” 

Always keep in mind that the promotional product should connect to the creative and message in the direct marketing mail brochure or email message. When the item adds impact or somehow reinforces the message for the target audience, you’ve hit a homerun, and I’m betting your metrics will bear that out.

LiveJournal Tags: direct marketing,direct mail,email marketing,e-direct,business reply card,promotional products,corporate gifts,advertising specialties,swag,give-away,sales incentive award,performance award,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

The best promotional product ever

What is the best promotional product you ever received? Why did you like it? How long ago did you get it? Do you still have it today? Is it a functional product, or is it static, something to look at and remember when it was given to you? Does the company, representative and circumstances surrounding your receipt of the promotional product come easily to mind?

In my role as a product marketing communications professional, I received many promotional products from partners and vendors, usually at industry trade shows. They ran the gamut of what you typically see: business card holders, coasters, pens, Post-It Note pads, portfolios, mouse pads, thumb drives, screen savers (back in the day), Beanie Babies (again, back in the day when they were all the rage) caps and shirts, just to name a few.

So often, I walked away from a company booth scratching my head thinking: “Why are they giving that promotional item away? What the heck does that have to do with their company or their product? What is the message? The prospect is going to take the item back to the office and give it to the admin (coffee mug) or home and give it to their kid (Beanie Baby). It’s nice, but I doubt it’s going to build customer or brand loyalty, or result in a sale.”

Yes, I actually did have this thought quite often; after all, I’m a marketing communications professional, it’s how I’m wired.

The best promotional product you ever received drove you to take an action that helped you in your role with your employer and ultimately helped your company. Or, it was recognition bestowed upon you for achieving a goal or simply excelling and making your team and company better.

That’s a win for everyone and an item you probably will keep forever and look at occasionally with fond memories.

LiveJournal Tags: promotional products,corporate gifts,advertising specialties,swag,give-away,sales incentive award,performance award,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

Promotional products keep on giving

I spent some time today with the owner of a promotional products company. What a fantastic business. He essentially provides people with gifts to bestow upon others who will smile with appreciation, probably keep it on their desk and likely reciprocate in the future.

I never understood why anyone refers to promotional products as give-aways, freebies, swag, or worse, trash and trinkets. These people lack vision and have little appreciation for the purpose and power behind a promotional product. As part of an integrated communications campaign, the promotional product serves as the physical representation of the value proposition. It’s a constant reminder of the company and the product or service they offer.

Of course, promotional products can also be used for internal marketing and sales incentive campaigns. So often, being given an item from the company with the individual’s name on it as an award reaps huge dividends in performance and attitude.  It doesn’t matter the value of the award, it’s the simple act of recognition that matters the most.

That’s a powerful message. And that’s the power of promotional products.

LiveJournal Tags: promotional products,corporate gifts,advertising specialties,swag,give-away,sales incentive award,performance award,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

This letter covers it

Dear Mr. Y,

I learned through JF that you are seeking an individual to handle a variety of marketing communications (marcom) programs with a near-term focus on collateral, online content and social media. Over the past 15 years, I served in various marcom roles for SCI and two hi-tech firms. During this time, I managed and contributed to just about every type of marcom program imaginable.

I will bring all of this experience to bear on programs designed to position GES as an innovator and leader. I possess a keen mind and exceptional listening skills. I learn quickly through inquisitiveness, immersion, intuition, initiative and interaction. As a result, I become very adept at understanding my company, its products and services, competitive differentiators, benefits and the markets it serves.

An asset you will find very valuable is my ability to write crisp, concise and compelling copy that effectively communicates the desired message for a variety of media, from the web to social to sales communications to product collateral. I also possess a creative mind and revel in the ideation process. These skills are beneficial in developing the value proposition, key messages and supporting content.

Marcom managers wear many hats and must be as flexible as a contortionist. I am a thinker, researcher, planner, communicator, project manager, production manager, copywriter, editor, videographer, publicist, event planner, content manager and so much more. If variety is the spice of life, marcom managers are the entire rack. I bring the flava!

I offer all this, a sense of humor, personal integrity and a commitment to excellence to GES. I hope you agree this is worth a personal meeting to determine if we are a good fit. I will contact JT to get the process started. Thank you.

Best Regards,

Brian Beasley

LiveJournal Tags: hire me,cover letter,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

You can handle the truth

Do you believe everything you read? Do you trust statistics? Do you casually accept the interpretation of surveys and those that report them as unbiased?

Me either.

Why is that? Could it be because we’ve been mislead too often; burned too many times?

I suspect so. We’ve all come to understand that individuals and groups with a particular agenda choose to dissect data or select certain portions of a study that supports their philosophy and present that information as the complete picture. Generally, what they fail to convey is the numbers are only a slice of the pie. They’ve skewed the truth in their favor.

It’s disingenuous and it fosters mistrust.

Consider the damage it does to your company and your brand when you ask a copywriter to make an unsubstantiated claim to close a gap or secure a competitive advantage. The truth will eventually emerge, and your reputation will be smeared. Customers may walk. Partners too.

So why risk your reputation? Take the high road. Win because your product or service is superior and your customer service puts your competitors to shame. You’ll protect your honor and the dignity of all, including copywriters, who are working vigorously to ensure your product and company succeeds.

LiveJournal Tags: statistics,survey results,brand,brand reputation,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

I know a ton…and you can weigh it

Pop quiz: What is a ton?

If you said it is a number that expresses a quantity, go to the stool in the corner and put on the dunce cap. If you answered that it is a unit of weight or volume, congratulations, you may go clap the erasers.

One of my pet peeves is the rampant misuse of the word “ton”. It is commonly employed as an adjective describing a unit of quantity:

“There were tons of people at the ball game.” So exactly how many people is a ton?

“The networking group gave me a ton of ideas.” How many ideas did you get?

“I miss my wife a ton.” You better be sure people understand you miss your wife a lot, not that you preferred her when she was the size of a whale.

“It hurt a ton.” I don’t understand. It hurt how much?

Sorry folks, ton is NOT a quantity. Ton is a noun that describes a unit of weight and a unit of volume. From Dictionary.com:

ton – noun

1. a unit of weight, equivalent to 2000 pounds (0.907 metric ton) avoirdupois (short ton) in the U.S. and 2240 pounds (1.016 metric tons) avoirdupois (long ton) in Great Britain.

2. Also called freight ton. a unit of volume for freight that weighs one ton, varying with the type of freight measured, as 40 cubic feet of oak timber or 20 bushels of wheat.

3. metric ton.

4. displacement ton.

5. a unit of volume used in transportation by sea, commonly equal to 40 cubic feet (1.13 cu. m) (shipping ton or measurement ton).

We do see the word ton used correctly at bridge crossings and in elevators or lifts informing us how much weight these structures can support. In truth, though, most of us never have a use for the word.

Unless you work in the fashion industry:

ton – noun

1. high fashion; stylishness.

2. the current fashion, style, or vogue.

Wait, it’s not just a unit of weight or volume? That news to me. I’m having difficulty envisioning how to elegantly inject the word into a fashion statement. So I won’t (where’s that dunce cap).

Somehow, I doubt ton is ever uttered by teens when discussing wardrobes, except perhaps in a disparaging manner:

“Her dresses make her look like she weighs a ton.” 

Well there you go: this example is a proper use of ton albeit in a highly improper way.

LiveJournal Tags: ton,pet peeve,noun,adjective,definition,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications communications,social media writer,blogging

The long and short of it

I’m curious if long form copy still has a place in advertising and marketing communications. Attention spans are short. There’s an overabundance of information and scads of delivery vehicles: email, Twitter, RSS feeds, digital news media, curators, and social media applications all peppering us with news and noise every waking minute. 

Just the other day, I raved in a blog post about how Twitter and other communications apps spark creativity because of the severe limits they put on copywriters. Long form copy demands another skill; the ability to tell a story. The narrative, though, must have a powerful payoff for the advertiser (sales) and the customer (a product or service that solves a problem).

I know there are some professional writers who made their name using long form copy. Arguably the best copywriter ever, Gary Halbert, didn’t shy away from long form, however, he insisted that every word had to matter and help sell the product or service.

Nowadays, it seems so few people have the time or patience to read informational, educational or sales literature. The majority want things without working for them, and that includes knowledge. Make it simple stupid. I don’t want to have to work hard to understand something. If it requires a user’s manual, it’s too complicated. It’s a plug-n-play world.

What do you think? Is long form copy short for this world?

Creative Writer for Hire
What’s Your Story? I’ll tell it for you. Long copy. Short copy. (and anywhere in-between). Contact me at briantbeasley@gmail.com

LiveJournal Tags: long form copy,Gary Halbert,David Ogilvy,Joe Sugarman,Jay Abraham,Ad Age,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

This copy isn’t for the birds

The copy is due. It’s almost perfect and you know it. But the vultures are outside your door. Waiting.

You sold them on the copy platform and now you have to deliver to the doubters. So you put in the extra work, laboring over every syllable. There is no bloat. Not a word is wasted. And this pleases you.

Yet the presence of those birds is unnerving, creating just a tinge of stress, raising your heart rate a tad.

Fortunately, unlike the raccoon in the trap on my neighbor’s roof, you are in control. Your superlative command of the English language and writing chops are your salvation. You present your copy and everyone loves it. Raves over it, in fact. And you smile inside.

This is what drives me as a writer. Every assignment presents a challenge, and an opportunity. The final product is an expression of myself; a representation of my unique style and way of thinking.

Confident, I thumb my nose at the vultures.

And I live to write another day.

LiveJournal Tags: copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

I can persuade that reader in 140 characters or less

Twitter rocks. I love the application because of its character limit. Writers typically rue boundaries. Limitations constrict creativity. I disagree. Limits ignite creativity. One must really think about how to precisely craft a message so it communicates crisply and with clarity…in 140 characters or less.

I say bring it on. I embrace the challenge of conveying an idea or message in as few words as possible.

Slogans are a personal fave. As a rule they must be brief. And memorable. Most importantly, they must connect with the product or service value or benefit. Authenticity is an absolute.

Headlines jazz me, too. I love writing them. I put a lot of thought into the words I choose. I want the reader to be reeled in, to mentally think “What the heck?” or “That sounds interesting. I have to read this blog, ad, or story.”

Check out my the other posts in this blog. See if you don’t agree that I have a knack for conveying a clever and compelling message via my headlines. Then check my Twitter account. Go back several weeks and you’ll find plenty of creative tweets promoting a new post for my Something 2 Ad blog. Are my headlines and tweets persuasive? Tell me what you think.

Creative Writer for Hire
Big on ideas, strong on content and driven by results. That’s me. I’m an excellent writer and editor for print, digital and social media (including blogs). I possess an uncompromising passion for accuracy and pay acute attention to detail. Any subject matter will do. I learn quickly through inquisitiveness, immersion, intuition, initiative and interaction. I write crisp, concise and compelling copy that effectively communicates the desired message and delivers the intended response. To inquire, briantbeasley@gmail.com

LiveJournal Tags: copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

Live to write another day

“...I mean, I just don't think I can take that kind of rejection.”
        Marty McFly, Back to the Future, 1985

Rejection. It’s a powerful word packed with energy and emotion. Reactions vary when someone faces rejection. Each situation is unique and the relationship of the parties involved often dictates the response of the aggrieved. When it’s unexpected, I think the typical response is shock or stunned silence, followed by hurt and then sadness. Sometimes, the hurt is followed by anger.

In the creative professions, rejection is as common as the cold virus and comes in as many strains. To survive, one must learn to adapt.

I recognized early in my career that people respond to your creative work like they do art. It’s very subjective. It was not unusual for an idea that was dismissed as mundane or boring by the creative director to earn praise and serious consideration by the client. Ego clouded the judgment of my executives and managers. As a neophyte, it frustrated me. And it happened time after time. My peers clued me in that my ideas weren’t the problem, it was my approach. They pointed out that it was ineffective and until I changed my approach – and adjusted my attitude a tinge – I would lose many more than I’d win.

They were right.

After some introspection, I understood I needed to develop a thick skin. Second, I needed to employ my sense of humor. Finally, I became a bit more savvy in how I positioned and pitched my ideas. I learned to socialize a concept early, especially with the influencers and then the decision-makers. I enrolled the difficult personalities into the process at the beginning and gave them a sense of involvement. As people gave their support I shared the credit with influencers and others prone to block things and publicly thanked them for their contributions. Yes, it took a bit of politicking and ego stroking, but I didn’t care. I was more concerned that the best concepts were in the client pitch.

When I jumped to the client side in the enterprise software industry and joined the marketing communications team, those lessons served me well. I still had egos, a bureaucracy and politics to navigate, but it didn’t seem as daunting.  Fortunately, I enjoyed a long run of seeing my concepts, campaigns and copy being accepted. And that didn’t suck.

I’m still in the creative profession, and rejection is still a constant, but the work that is accepted more than compensates for the ideas and copy that go back into the hopper.

And I live to write another day.

LiveJournal Tags: copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

Something to Occupy my time

I’ve been doing a lot of reading about the Occupy movements in the United States. Much of my focus has been on the Wall Street and Austin Texas editions.  While neither movement has coalesced behind a cohesive strategy and set of messages, a few key themes for the anger has become evident. They include:

• the subprime mortgage crisis and the resulting bank bailout
• a rigged Wall Street system
• corporate America’s power in Washington politics
• the growing disparity in executive and employee compensation
• an inequitable federal tax system
• the escalating cost of higher education
• high unemployment

What all this boils down to is the ever-widening gulf or chasm between the “haves”, dubbed the 1% by the Occupy movement, and the “have nots”, which is the rest of us. We’re known as the 99%.

Could we have foreseen this day? It seems those involved in forming our Republic had the foresight. James Madison said:

We are free today substantially but the day will come when our Republic will be an impossibility. It will be impossibility because wealth will be concentrated in the hands of a few. A republic cannot stand upon bayonets, and when that day comes, when the wealth of the nation will be in the hands of a few, then we must rely upon the wisdom of the best elements in the country to readjust the laws of the nation to the changed conditions.

Prescient. 

So here we are; the time has come. The 99% are rising up to shake the establishment demanding reform. Within the ranks, will voices emerge that espouse the wisdom that will ultimately lead to a readjustment of the laws toward a more equitable distribution of wealth, as Madison anticipated?

This is my hope.

LiveJournal Tags: Occupy Wall Street,Occupy Austin,executive compensation,subprime mortgage crisis,bank bailouts,unfair tax code,cost of college,high unemployment,1%,99%,James Madison,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

The writer’s block poem

I don’t know what to write
It doesn’t give me a fright
It’s just an annoying plight
When I don’t know what to write.

I don’t know what to write
No ideas are in my sight
This block I give a fight
When I don’t know what to write.

I don’t know what to write
But I think I see a light
A shape that’s taking flight
As I don’t know what to write.

I don’t know what to write
No longer do I recite
A thought became a kite
That rose to the highest height.

I do know what to write
It gives me real delight
To craft prose oh so bright
When I do know what to write.
     --© Brian Beasley

LiveJournal Tags: poem,poetry,rhymes,creative writing,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

Rain dance

Texas received much needed precipitation this weekend. Folks were dancing in the streets, children were splashing in puddles and dogs were whizzing on fire hydrants. It was water cooler conversation today throughout the state, eking out the Texas Rangers game 1 ALCS victory and the Texas Longhorns crushing defeat in the Red River Rivalry.

It seems that only in Texas can rain be a BIG event. Meteorologists get a child-like giddiness about them when a low pressure system appears to be making a path toward the state. And why not? When you spend half a year giving the same forecast day after day, a paltry 10% chance of rain makes one’s heart race.

Even with all of the science, computer and radar technology, and historical data, Mother Nature knows how to make meteorologists look like a fool.  You have to admire the resilience of weather professionals. When they’re wrong, they seem to more excited than when they nailed the forecast. Some even have a sense of humor about their mistake…

“Now I imagine that some of you were a little surprised at the weather over the weekend. Especially if you watched my show Friday night man. I’d like to, uh, personally apologize for the sudden heavy rains to the former residents of Rogers, Illinois…caught them cats napping, man.”

Of course, that’s an apology from Al Sleet, the hippy dippy weatherman, a character created by the late great George Carlin back in the 1960’s. Did Mr. Carlin ever create a skit that parodied Texans behavior during a rain storm?

LiveJournal Tags: Texas,extreme drought,rain,Red River Rivalry,Texas Longhorns,Texas Rangers,Major League Baseball ALCS,meteorologists,Mother Nature,Al Sleet,hippy dippy weather,George Carlin,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

For the love of sports and fitness

It can be said sports and fitness are important parts of my life. I play softball and tennis, and lift weights, do stomach crunches and stretch to keep fit. 

Check out my schedule this week (Mon., Oct.3 – Sun., Oct. 9):

Monday, October 3
Weightlifting, stomach crunches and stretching
Both ALDS baseball games
Monday Night Football

Tuesday, October 4
Both ALDS* and NLDS baseball games
*The Texas Rangers eliminated the Tampa Bay Rays; it’s on to the ALCS…woot!

Wednesday, October 5
Weightlifting, stomach crunches and stretching
Both NLDS baseball games

Thursday, October 6
Slow pitch softball, first game of the fall season (which caused me to miss the Tigers victory over the dreaded Yankees)

Friday, October 7
90 minute tennis cardio workout at 8:00 a.m.. Oh the burn in my thighs, calves. & lungs. So sweet.

Friday evening on television, it’s

• Game 5 of the NLDS between Arizona and Milwaukee
• Game 1 of the Dallas Stars season
• Game 5 of the NLDS between St. Louis and Philadelphia

Saturday, October 8
I’ll watch college football starting with the Red River Rivalry at 11:00 a.m. followed by an even bigger game between the Buffalo Bulls and my beloved Ohio Bobcats. Unfortunately that HUGE gridiron clash won’t be televised in the Austin Texas market (I know, go figure), so I’ll use ESPN gamecast on my mobile to keep track. The Kansas vs. Oklahoma State game (2:30 p.m. start) will likely be carried locally. The hallmark game of the evening is probably Auburn at Arkansas.

I’ll undoubtedly have the remote in hand because game 1 of the ALCS between Detroit and Texas starts in the 7 o’clock hour.

Between games or at halftime, I’ll squeeze in a weightlifting and stretching workout.

Sunday, October 9
I have a USTA doubles match at 1 p.m. After I shower, the TV will be on for the 3:00 pm. NFL football games. In the evening, I’ll be toggling between Sunday Night Football and game 2 of the ALCS between Detroit and Texas.

Yes, I love to keep fit and I love to compete and watch others compete at the highest levels of their respective sports. Autumn presents plenty of opportunities to do it all. I’m a happy and healthy fellow.

Hey! Where’s my wife?

LiveJournal Tags: sports,fitness,stretching,weightlifting,slow pitch softball,tennis,USTA tennis,health,MLB ALDS,MLB NLDS,Texas Rangers,Tampa Bay Rays,Detroit Tigers,New York Yankees,Arizona Diamondbacks,Milwaukee Brewers,St. Louis Cardinals,Philadelphia Phillies,NHL,Dallas Stars,Red River Rivalry,Oklahoma Sooners,Texas Longhorns,Buffalo Bulls,Ohio Bobcats,Kansas Jayhawks,Oklahoma State Cowboys,Auburn Tigers,Arkansas Razorbacks,ESPN Gamecast,NFL Sunday Night Football,NFL Monday Night Football,MLB ALCS

Baggage fee? No weigh!

So my neighbor contacts me via email with a request: “Do you have a bathroom scale I can borrow.” Now it’s not everyday that someone wants asks to use my bathroom scale. “Sure thing, I reply. I’ll bring it right over.”

I offered to bring it over so I could find out 1.) why he didn’t use his own bathroom scale, or 2.) why he didn’t have his own bathroom scale, and 3.) what he needed to weigh.

He’s a retired chemical engineer in his mid 60s, so the man is always tinkering, creating projects to keep himself busy. He designed and installed his own garden and potted plant irrigation dripper system, for example. During the torrid summer just passed when Austin broke every heat record in history, it worked flawlessly and none of his herbs and flowers died.

I step outside my front door and see that his garage door is open. Must be working on another project, I think to myself. This could prove interesting. As I amble up to his work area, I observe a 2x4x12 piece of wood and a large bulging black canvass bag laying on its side.

“Brian!” he greets me with genuine affection and enthusiasm. He turns to the canvas bag, bends over and begins to bring it upright. In the process, a spiked shoe and a small umbrella fall out. He lays the bag back down while I pick the items up and hand them to him. He put them back in the bag and zips it up, but not before I see that there’s a golf bag inside. It’s a travel bag.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

As he steps onto my mechanical bathroom scale to weigh himself, he explains that he and his wife are headed to North Carolina for a week to vacation with friends. “150 pounds,” he observes. Yes, my neighbor is a slight, bright fellow.

He retrieves the canvas bag and returns to the scale. It’s so large, it blocks his view of the scale, so I give him directions and he eventually steps onto the scale and centers himself. Of course, he can’t read the wheel, so I bend low and say “197 pounds.” 

“Whew,” he exhales as he carefully backs off the scale, “the bag weighs 47 pounds. Another four pounds and I’d be paying Delta a $90 fee.”

“You need to fly Southwest,” I remarked, “because bags fly free.”

“I’m using frequent flyer miles, so I had to go Delta. They already charged me for transferring miles to my wife’s account so she had enough miles for a not-so-free ticket. I did not want to pay a baggage fee, too.”

“Makes sense to me, and I don’t blame you. So what’s with the 2x4?”

“I was going to make my own scale. I still might,” he exclaimed with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. I was short on time, so I didn’t invite him to explain. Did I mention he loves projects?

There was only one question left. “I’m curious…what’s up with your bathroom scale?”

“We don’t have one. My wife hated the sight of it and she complained it was always in the way. I gave it to Goodwill years ago.” 

I chuckled to myself. His wife is six feet tall and thin as a rail. Truth is, neither of them need a scale…except when they’re trying to avoid an exorbitant baggage fee imposed by the airlines.

As I walked back home, I thought to myself, “Hmm, maybe there’s a business opportunity here: a personal luggage scale for travelers (who don’t or can’t fly Southwest) to help them avoid baggage fees.” If I need a model, I know just who to turn to.

LiveJournal Tags: bathroom scale,luggage,vacation,North Carolina,golf,Delta Airlines,baggage fee,Southwest Airlines bags fly free,Goodwill Industries,donate to Goodwill,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

A brilliant life

Rest in Peace.

LiveJournal Tags: Steve Jobs,Apple

Let me sleep on it

A good night’s sleep. That’s what I need. Eight hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep. No Mother Nature calls in the wee hours. No Bully Boy, our obnoxious feline, leaping onto our bed, meowing his fool head off, demanding attention. No lower back pain that doesn’t abate until I curl into the fetal position.

Speaking of, when the heck did my back pain begin? I honestly don’t remember. It just seemed to sneak up on me. I do know I didn’t wake up with it. My guess is I strained it while playing tennis or softball. It was just a slight tweak because I didn’t notice the “injury” at the time. Now, it’s two months later and I’m still dealing with the discomfort, primarily when I sit or lay for extended periods of time.

So I’ve begun stretching more and added core strengthening exercises to my fitness regimen. My abs sang to me the first few days, let me tell you. Oh the burn. I’m well beyond that now and enjoying the benefits of a stronger mid-section. It won’t be long before my six pack abs make an appearance, a first in about twenty years.

Exercising is fantastic, but I've noticed that it takes more out of me now and my recovery is slower. I accept this as a natural part of aging. Why fight a battle I can’t win? It will only heap mental exhaustion on top of physical fatigue.

You’d think I put in a solid workout today and stressed about my bounce-back because I am absolutely worn out. Not. So why am I so tired? Beats me, but I’m convinced it’s something eight hours of sweet slumber will cure. It’s time to go to bed. Wish me luck.

LiveJournal Tags: Sleep,slumber,dreams,Mother Nature,cat,feline,back pain,core exercises,workout regimen,softball,tennis,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging

Making it an autism friendly world

The NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams closed with their signature Making a Difference segment and today’s story on children with autism was truly touching. Big theatre productions are often inaccessible for the autistic children because the explosive lights and sounds are sensory overload for them. As Brian explained, some folks in the theater world had a blockbuster idea on how to make some tweaks to the Broadway production of The Lion King so it was accessible to autistic children. Here’s the story:

The look of absolute delight on the children’s faces says it all.

Autism friendly performances. What a remarkable idea. It’s all about turning down the volume during explosive moments and softening or removing bright strobes, spotlights and flashpots.

If the movement isn’t already afoot, this type of thinking and action needs to be applied to other live performances, as well as movies, television shows, digital games and computer applications.

And let’s not forget television advertisements. How many commercials are a cacophony of concussive sound effects and lightning-quick scenes? They’re dizzying, numbing and often so annoying that adults and even teens hit the mute button and take the eyes off the screen. A person with autism doesn’t have a chance.

A prime example: some local car dealership commercials are over the top. You know the ones that come on with the volume amped up much louder than the show it is sponsoring. The voiceover screams: THIS WEEKEND ONLY, WE’RE BLOWING THE DOORS OFF THE COMPETITION. YOU CAN DRIVE AWAY WITH NO MONEY DOWN, ZERO PERCENT FINANCING AND WE’LL MAKE YOUR FIRST PAYMENT. EVERYBODY QUALIFIES. YOU CAN’T BE DENIED!

An absolute assault on the senses. It’s ridiculous.

Will someone step up and make a difference in the advertising industry? Will someone develop a practice that creates commercials that are geared toward persons with autism? Perhaps this market segment isn’t large enough yet, but with an estimated that one in every 110 children is diagnosed with autism every year with a 10 – 17% annual growth, it will be soon.

LiveJournal Tags: NBC Nightly News,Brian Jennings,Making A Difference,autism friendly Broadway production,The Lion King,autism speaks,autism friendly advertising,movies,television shows,digital games,computer applications,car dealership commercials,copywriting,ghost writing,ad copy,freelance,marketing communications,social media writer,blogging